The Lies We Tell
by Phoebsfan
Summary: AU-M/L Anti-Transgenic sentiment rises. Problems occur. Angst ensues. Pain results. OH MY GOSH. CAN IT BE AN UPDATE? FINALLY FINISHED. DOES ANYONE EVEN REMEMBER IF THEY WERE READING THIS ONE?
1. Sometimes I think I remember another lif...

Chapter One  
Sometimes I think I remember another life  
  
  
Its strange. Sitting here in the barracks with the others, it all feels hauntingly familiar to me, yet I don't know why. If I could remember yesterday it might help but I can't remember.  
  
I don't quite understand why I'm here, just that I am. I don't know how I got here but they inform me I've been here all my life. I'm flawed they tell me, somewhere mother nature goofed up.  
  
This moring I asked one of the others why they had a barcode on the back of their neck, they asked me the same thing and I spent a good hour trying to figure out why.  
  
I asked a nurse who came in with our meds and she said it was to keep track of us. I guess I have no choice but to believe her.   
  
Every day its the same thing. They work us relentlessly. Training they call it, for what I still don't know. I find comfort in it because oddly enough it is the only thing that I do remember. And it comes to me so easily, like maybe I knew it before.  
  
At the end of the day I lie awake because try as I might I just can't sleep, the doctors think it has something to do with the imbalence of seratonin in my brain. Facts like that I do remember, cold hard facts are what keep me from losing it completely, not that I already haven't.  
  
When I'm lying awake in bed things come back to me, things that make me wonder if they are wrong. I remember faces mostly, and sometimes I remember places, but they are only brief flashs and I have to believe that they didn't really happen because if they did then the doctor's would be lying to me.   
  
In the morning though after breakfast things become hazy again. And I don't remember anything but that I remembered something. Its getting harder to stay patient and not question every drug they give me, not wonder if maybe they are wrong about me. If I could only remember then I have a feeling that I'd understand everything. But I can't remember.   
  
Its strange. Sitting here in the barracks with the others, it all feels so familiar, like I've been in a place like this before. But why would I have been in a place like this before, why am I here now. I don't remember anything really, just a few facts here and there. Things like tying my shoe and reading.   
  
I don't know how I got here but I'm told I've been here all my life...  
  
  
  
  
She's been gone for six months but still the day they took her plays out in my mind.   
  
She was looking for Joshua, afraid that the sector police would get to him first, wanting only to sneak him out of the city and hopefully find some place that wasn't out to crucify every transgenic in sight. When she got there he was gone and Max knew that he hadn't made it out by himself. They'd taken him.   
  
I was still in bed when she arrived at my place broken down. I offered her what comfort I could by inviting her into my arms.   
  
To my surprise she didn't resist, merely climbed on the bed and collapsed by my side shaking.  
  
She told me she'd nearly gotten caught on her way over, anti-transgenic sentiment was high, everyday citzens were scared. My blood ran cold when she informed me they were checking for barcodes.   
  
A month earlier a group of trangenics had stolen some food from a local conveince store, things had turned sour when the owner tried to prevent them from leaving, the owner ended up dead and a few of the group ended up caught and killed mercilessly in front of a mob of angry citizens. Things had escalated when a group of transgenics sought revenge for their fallen comrades. Aparently Max wasn't the only Manticorian with strong ties to the others.   
  
Despite Eyes Only's insistance that these transgenics were not out to kill, the citzens of Seattle would not buy it. Hate crime after hate crime rang out until in a move to prove dominace the sector police started rounding up stray transgenics and torturing them into submission.   
  
Despite Seattles blantant dislike of the sector police when the transgenics bombed one of their headquarters it was all over and Seattle started down an inescapable path toward destruction.  
  
No longer were there random checks for barcodes at checkpoints, they became mandatory, forcing Max to find other ways around.   
  
No transgenic was safe on the street, at any moment anyone could and would be stopped on the street and asked to bear their neck, refusing to do so would land you in jail for the night if you didn't have a barcode, and killed or shipped away to a military complex if you did have one.  
  
Still Max had not left Seattle. We'd both pretended it would blow over. That things couldn't last.  
  
But when an attempt was made on the president's life, the broken country that we lived in followed Seattle into hell and no one was left uneffected.   
  
The night before she was taken they'd started knocking on doors and checking for barcodes. Soon word spread that the sector police were barging down doors and looking for some transgenics that had engineered a virus targeted to human DNA. These transgenics had every intention of killing mankind off and turning the world into their personal playground.   
  
That had sent Max running to Joshua, the rumors were obviously greatly exaggerated but Max had not been able to dismiss them completely. She'd spent the rest of the night running and had finally made it to my place that morning, hours after she started out.  
  
We both knew that our time was limited, hours at best, minutes more likely. But I had not wanted to belive it. I couldn't lose her. She had to know that i couldn't lose her.  
  
But I had lost her, the sector police had come and barged down my door stealing away the only light in my dark little world.  
  
I'd sat alone for a long time after not able to do anything but remember her eyes thanking me for lying like a coward. Remembering the moment when she had unguardedly told me she loved me.  
  
Some good it did us.  
  
They've rounded up most if not all of the escappees now, it is still amazing to me that despite the state of the economy, despite the lack of resources, the job was finished so quickly.  
  
I don't know if she's out there still. For awhile they were killing them off publicly, pay for a ticket and you could not only save this charitable orgainization or that but you could see the transgenic that killed your father, die. Not that your father was actually killed by a transgenic.  
  
I don't want to connvince myself that she is still out there. There were far worse things then death.  
  
It's easier with her dead.   
  
If she's dead I don't have to worry about her being in any more pain. I don't have to worry about the things that they'd do to her. (I'd done my far share of reasearch and none of it was pretty)   
  
Sometimes I think I remember another life, one where she and I are happy, where we are together. It's then that I remember it was only a dream I had. Its easier for her just to be a dream. Easier then having her dead.  
  
Funny thing is it doesn't matter how hard I try, I still can't shake the image of her eyes.  
  
Or the feelings that it's my fault.  
  
I should have gone with her; I should have stood by her till the end. Even if she had asked me not to. Even if I had promised.  
  
Looking back I wonder if I would have done things differently if given another chance.  
  
Logically we'd done the only thing we could, I was of far more use out here then I ever could be dead. I knew this and so did she. Still my heart wanted no part of logic.  
  
They say hindsight is twenty-twenty. I don't know if I believe it. Six months later, I still can't seem to sort it all out. Six months later, I still don't know if I did the right thing.  
  
I don't know if I'd do it again.  
  
I don't know if I could.  
  
I tell myself that I wouldn't be able to lie to the sector cops, that she means too much to me. But I know that it is far more likely my logical side would win out and cling to the hope that one day things will be better.  
  
Besides she'd asked me to lie for her and I had promised. Somehow I don't think I could have denied her that one last wish.  
  
  
  
You guys are lucky my muse has been kind lately. You know the drill. Please tell me what you think. I honestly don't know when or if chapter 2 is coming. Sorry about grammer and spelling problems, I usually have a spell check to run it on in addition but not anymore. 


	2. Before

The Lies We Tell  
Disclaimer: "no. not me. how you can accuse me is a mystery. no. not me. Cameron owns the bunch. unfortunatly. la la la la la la la.." yada yada. blah blah woof woof. honestly I don't even want credit for this story much less the characters in it.   
Summery: another AU for all of you. M/L (come on people have you noticed me writing anything else...ever?) Anti-Transgenic sentiment builds. Problems occur. Pain results. Read it. Love it or Hate it. But don't shoot the messenger. Actually take that back, you can shoot the messenger if you'd like.  
Rating: hmm good question PG-13 (more people read it that way- hehehehehe) no for lang. and violence.   
AN: REVIEW! please.  
Archive: contact me first!!!!  
  
  
  
  
Logan pulled her closer buring her head into his chest as another helicoptor flew over. This was it, all hell   
had offically broken loose and they were the ones who were going to pay for it.  
  
"I couldn't find him Logan." she cried into his chest. Logan pulled the blanket up and covered her shaking   
body again. "Its over. All of it." she continued. Screams could be heard from neighboring apartments and   
even the street below, chaos reigned all around them but here in his bed, Logan tried his damndest to   
ensure that nothing invaded that little peace of comfort she had sought out, the haven they'd created.  
  
"Shhh. It will be alright." he tried to comfort but knew that there was no way on earth it could be.   
  
"No it isn't Logan. We both know it. I should have left earlier." she muttered pulling back to face him.   
  
Placing a finger on her lips to silence her, he answered.  
  
"We'll get you out now." he vowed. Max only smiled and traced a finger down his cheek.  
  
"We can't. In less then ten minutes they'll be knocking down your door Logan. Even if I could get out of   
the building I'd never make it out of Seattle. And if I made it out of Seattle..." Max drifted off as she ran her fingers over his naked chest.  
  
"Where would you go...I know." he admitted.  
  
"This isn't just a local problem." she added.   
  
"I could hide you." he offered, feeling the strength that flowed from her.  
  
"They'd kill you." she fought back, her eyes told him that she couldn't be the instrument of his destruction but he needed to hear it.  
  
"I don't care." he fought back. "Its worth the risk. I tried life without you before, it didn't work well for me."  
  
"You stupid man." Max smiled, stupid or not his comments were more then a little heartwarming.  
  
"We could hide your barcode." he offered. Max knew that any attempts at trickery might buy them time but in the long run it wouldn't matter and might very well take some good friends down with it.  
  
"It wouldn't matter. They'd find out eventually." Max cooed. She had not expected him to fight so hard.  
  
"Damn it Max, we could have it removed." he was fishing now and he knew it. He knew that it would only come back; he knew it wouldn't matter what they did.  
  
"Logan, have you ever had a tattoo removed? It hurts like hell. Besides that, who would remove it? You'd be lucky to find one person out there who isn't scared out of their wits by me and my kind. And even if it was removed it would only come back. The government is offering a lot of money for my barcode Logan.   
No one out there is going to care who I am. And they aren't going to hesitate turning me in." she explained patiently as if he was a small child. Running her hands through his hair and behind his neck she played with the hair on the back of it as her eyes met his.  
  
"Max we are going to figure this out." Logan insisted as he rubbed circles on her back.  
  
"You know what has to be done Logan." Max comforted.  
  
"No." he flat out refused.  
  
"You have to let me go." she continued to his pained expression.  
  
"I can't." he pleaded with her.  
  
"You have too. When they come in here you have to lie to them." he shook his head violently as tears started to well up. "Yes Logan. Tell them that a week ago I broke in, tell them I threatened your life if you didn't provide me with sanctuary, tell them anything. That you didn't know. But don't tell them the truth. I don't want you killed because of me." Max rushed out as tears flowed from both sets of eyes.  
  
"Don't make me do this Max." he continued. Her voice caught in her throat and instead of answering the feelings and underlying passions in his voice verbally, she let herself go and found herself sinking into the release found only in his lips, in his touch. Tears mingled, puddling on the bed as their passion intensified.  
  
Breaking away heartbroken Logan traced her face once more, lingering on her perfect lips, brushing away her salty tears.  
  
"I love you Max Guevara." he whispered feircely. Taken aback Max's eyes popped open as the reality set in. She had not expected confessions of love from him.   
  
"I'll always love you." Her heart answered before her mind could interfere.  
  
There was a noise in the other room as the sector police broke into the apartment.  
  
"They could have knocked." Max tried to joke. Logan pulled her closer, knowing that in a matter of minutes she would be taken from him and perhaps never returned. Why had they waited so long to tell each other how they had felt? Why couldn't he have kept it to himself?  
  
Barging into the room, the sector police ordered the two out of the bed.  
  
"I'm sorry Mr. Cale." The building's super offered as he too entered the room.  
  
"He's clean." a sector cop barked after circling Logan looking for a barcode.   
  
"Do you mind pointing those guns away?" Logan questioned not too politely.  
  
"What have we got here?" Grabbing Max's hair and yanking it out of the way violently, the cop found the barcode he'd been looking for.  
  
"You mind?" Max demanded roughly. It took everything he had for Logan to restrain himself and not kick the crap out of the cop, who was leering and yanking Max around by her hair.  
  
"What do you know about this!" There were three sector cops, one had Max by the hair, one had a gun on him, and the other pointed a gun on her.   
  
Max's deep depths collided with his crystal corneas and locked. Her message was clear. Logan couldn't disapoint her, he couldn't hurt her more then she already would be.  
  
"I never..." Logan started then turned to her, "How could you?" he demanded violently. "You lied to me, you little bitch." he hoped he sounded convincing. In order to prove his point he stepped forward as if to launch himself at her, thankfully a sector cop stopped him.  
  
Max smiled her gratitude and thanked him with her eyes. There was no need for both of them to be taken down.  
  
"Is that all?" Logan's super asked. The cops nodded and dragged Max out of the room by her hair, her eyes never leaving his.  
  
Thousands of messages relayed with their eye contact, one thing that the broken world they lived in could never break.   
  
Logan watched from the window as they dragged her out on the street, as people threw things at her. He would have followed her; he would have walked by her side proudly and admitted to the whole world that he loved her. But she had asked him not to. And he had promised.  
  
He loved her too much to break her heart; he loved her too much to break his promise.  
  
Logan turned away from the window as they loaded her into a car.   
  
He would never forget. 


	3. Lie: v. Falsify, prevaricate, deceive, m...

Chapter Three  
Lie: v. Falsify, prevaricate, deceive, misinform, exaggerate, distort, concoct, misrepresent, dissemble, delude...  
AN: I'm in love...with words. I'm hoplessly addicted to them.  
  
  
"Some of you have been lied to. Unfortunately one of your comrades finds amusement in filling your heads with nonsense, claiming he remembers events that never happened, forcing our hand."   
  
I watched as some guards removed one of the patients, I didn't know him but I'd heard what he was saying. Something about Manticore and transgenics, it didn't sound appealing but it did sound oddly familiar. This worried me.  
  
"However, some of the things your comrade brought up are true. The exsistance of transgenics for one. What he has told you however is false. Transgenics almost destroyed this country, they are evil, vile, and must be eradicated." I blocked out his daily hate speech. There always seemed to be someone or something we were supposed to hate, frankly I'd lost count.  
  
"...that is why you are here." I only caught the tail end of his speech but it was enough to glue my eyes to his paused lips and focus all extra attention on his still figure. I wanted to know why I was here. "Some of you may have noticed you are special. You run faster and jump higher then your instructors. Because of this we are enlisting your help to fight these transgenics, to bring them out of hiding. Many have been caught and punished but some remain unaccounted for. Our sources claim that they have lobbied together and are planning an assault. This is what you have been training for. Make the government proud." With that the man left.   
  
I laughed to myself, I couldn't even remember the name of the man who had just exited the room and he wanted me to go and stop a bunch of worthless transgenics. Yeah, I wondered if I'd remember any of this in the morning. Lately I've started retaining things, like the fact that I like to play chess, and I am starting to remember the people around me too. This morning I was so happy that I didn't have to go through introductions yet again.  
  
All around me people were talking about these transgenics. Turning to a girl I remembered named Syl I asked her about it.  
  
"What is so bad about them anyway?" It didn't seem like there was much to the previous hate speech other then they are bad people.  
  
"They tried to destroy humanity Max, they'd engineered viruses that killed thousands of people, they sold small children, I even heard that they kidnapped women to sell their vital organs on the blackmarket." Syl looked back in awe.  
  
I guess they were evil. I wondered what happened to them to make them so sick, so manical, and twisted. Thinking about Syl's words made me sick. Who could do that to people? It had to take a real monster. Suddenly I felt glad to be one of the few who would be sent to stop these, these, "things."  
  
  
  
"Come on Logan, we could really use Eyes Only on this." Alec moaned. Somehow they'd missed him and it irrated me beyond belief. Max had died but Alec got away unscathed. It just wasn't fair.  
  
"Eyes Only can't help you." I spit out walking away from him only to have him follow.  
  
"We can save her Logan. I know you want her back." Alec tried again.  
  
"Max is dead." I spit out venomously turning on him. I think I scared him because he jumped back. But only momentarily, he was at it again two point five seconds later.  
  
"Did you see her die?" he asked calmly.   
  
I wished I had. If I lied to him he'd leave me alone. He knew that I really couldn't be that much help to him. Eyes Only was a wanted man, if his treachery was bad before the transgenic issue, it was just plain immoral now. I had to keep broadcasts to a minimum simply because I couldn't get informations from nearly anyone. I'd even had a few close calls with informants looking to turn me in.  
  
"Yes Alec, I watched her die." Frustrated, I lied. I seemed to be doing a lot of that lately. To myself, to my friends, to my enemies, cross my path and I'd lie to you, it just seemed inevitable these days. I hated myself for sinking this low. There was a time when I could say I was an honest man, well as honest as a man with my resume could be. Now, well now I've stopped counting the lies and moved right on to accepting them for the reality they are.  
  
I noticed that he'd grown quiet by my comment and I felt guilty, maybe I should amend it.  
  
"Sorry." he muttered and turned to leave. I decided to stick with my decision. So I'd burn in hell, what was new.  
  
As I watched him go I realised how overwhelmingly tired I was. Probably from lack of sleep. I wasn't doing much of that these days.   
  
Even though she'd only been in it once, my bed seemed hauntingly large at night, and her memory strangled the dreams I was allowed. And that was the only place that I couldn't lie to myself. The only place I couldn't convince myself that she was dead.  
  
Maybe I should have helped Alec, if she was alive then maybe I could save her. True Alec had slim to no chance of actually suceeding at freeing the others before getting killed himself but at least he was trying.   
  
Odd that he'd be the one to band all the transgenics that had managed to avoid the raids, together. Funny that he should be their leader. I'd always thought he didn't have a selfless bone in his body. I knew he did it for Max, contrary to what he said, Max had rubbed off on him.  
  
Collapsing on my couch I closed my eyes and tried to clear my mind.  
  
  
  
Hey you know the drill, do the review. I been thinking, what thinking you say, yeah thinking. I've been thinking its time I head back to ...all the kings horses, and all the kings men... its been so long since I updated that one...hmmm. So you may not get another chapter of this for awhile. However, I have plenty of other fics you could try. wink wink. 


	4. Haunted

Chapter 3  
Haunted  
  
  
I pushed at the darkness. It engulfed me, tore through me, leaving me empty and vunerable. Fear drove my heart to pounding. Thump. Thump. It echoed off of the vast empty space inside my mind. Thump. Thump.   
  
I was spinning. Losing a grip on my surroundings. I clawed desprately for anything that could save me.   
  
Suddenly I was cold, so cold, and I couldn't breath. There was no air, I was sinking. I tried to break the surface but there was no surface. Ice locked me underwater. I was going to die. Thump. Thump. Oh God no.  
  
Just as my vision started to blur, a hand broke through the ice and pulled me to safety. I turned to see him but suddenly I was back in darkness. Thump. Thump.  
  
I called for him to come back. But he did not reapear.  
  
I could tell that conciousness was coming back and that my dream would end soon but I fought against it. I needed to see him. I needed to see the man who had saved me.  
  
Suddenly I was blessed with a vision of his eyes, but alas I saw eyes only.  
  
Blue and sharp, haunted and lost. They were sad eyes. They shot right through me and asked me a million questions I couldn't even begin to know the answers to. I wanted to hold those eyes with mine and ask a few questions of my own but darkness blocked them out as my other senses became aware of my surroundings and I woke up fully.  
  
  
  
She was trapped. I ran to help her but there was so much ice. I didn't think I could make it. Oh God I can't lose her again.   
  
"Max! Max!" I cried. She'd have to help me. I couldn't reach her. She swam closer and I broke through and pulled her up.   
  
I ran. She called after me but I kept running.  
  
She had to understand I couldn't do this again. Why did she keep calling to me?  
  
As her cries intensified I couldn't take it any longer and turned to face her.  
  
Our eyes locked. She didn't know who I was. She didn't know I loved her.  
  
Her eyes were empty, hurt, and lost. Haunted by ghosts I could not see.  
  
I woke up in a sweat. She's gone. I had to remember that she was gone. And she wasn't coming back.  
  
Dead. She died. It was getting harder to believe that. My dreams were getting to intense. They were getting harder to ignore.  
  
Would her ghost ever leave me?  
  
  
Ok so I lied but now honestly I really do believe you won't be getting more for awhile. But smile and review anyway. 


	5. Betrayed

Chapter 4  
Betrayed  
  
AN: ok don't think I'm freakish but the song really has no bearing on this chapter other then the fact that I was listening to it when writing it. So if you have Dido's No Angel cd put it in and listen to track four while reading....It is more of a mood piece then anything else. Wanted to capture a mood. No Max is not remembering Logan persay. Only pieces and facts that somewhere there was something or someone. Just a feeling that she isn't alone that somewhere.... Well you know....tell me if I suceeded.  
  
*My lover's gone,  
his boots no longer by my door,*  
  
I packed the rest of the ammunition into my empty pockets. Looking around the barracks I noticed the others stuffing their pockets as well. I felt...hollow, for lack of a better word. Empty.   
  
I was getting ready to take down the bad guys, shouldn't I feel something.   
  
*he left at dawn,  
and as I slept I felt him go*  
  
Climbing into the back of the SUV that would take us to the outlying woods of Seattle, I tried not to look back. Many of us wouldn't be coming back. Would I be one of them?   
  
The question didn't bother me. My mind seemed locked in place. Like nothing could take it off of my objective. Like I had no choice.  
  
*returns no more,  
I will not watch the ocean,*  
  
Something in me was fighting my new military mind. Something was trying to break me out of the intense foucus I paided to my CO as we drove down the road toward the mutant infestation. Like a little bug buzzing me ear, I swatted it away.  
  
*My lover's gone,  
No earthly ships will ever*  
  
Seattle felt familiar, comforting even. The rain that drizzled around us didn't bother me. Looking up as I waited for the others to catch up I caught a glimpse of the sun flashing through the clouds.  
  
Normal. It felt normal.  
  
*bring him home again,  
bring him home again.*  
  
Thirty miles out of town there was a cabin on a lake, surrounded by miles of nothing.  
  
I don't know how I knew it, but I was certain that if I went to look for it, I'd find it. Strange.  
  
*My lover's gone,  
I know that kiss will be my last,*  
  
The mutants were waiting for us, ready.  
  
They looked just like us.  
  
*No more his song,  
the tune upon his lips has passed*  
  
They tried to talk us out of it. Asked us if we remembered. Asked us if we knew what we were doing. Of course we knew.  
  
We were following orders, ridding the world of their kind.  
  
They told us we were the same.   
  
We knew better, we were warned beforehand that they would try to convince us that we were like them.  
  
I didn't heisitate to take the first shot.  
  
*I sing alone,  
while I watch ocean,*  
  
Around me, my companions fell.   
  
But the transgenics were not killing them, only disabling us. Killing only when nessecary to provide life.  
  
This was not supposed to happen.  
  
One of them fell in front of my feet.  
  
He had a barcode.  
  
The dead looked the same, side by side, and when it was over no one knew who won.  
  
It felt like no one had.  
  
*My lover's gone,  
No earthly ships will ever*  
  
I ran up to Syl, to Krit, to Jace. They were still breathing.  
  
I was crying. Why was I crying?  
  
*bring him home again,*  
  
"Max?" I turned around and faced a man who was not in my group. A transgenic.  
  
He was sad, grief oozed from him as he pulled me to him.  
  
Confusion rang through me. How did he know my name? Why was he hugging me? Who was he?  
"Max?" he questioned again as I pulled away and brought my gun up to his chest. Tears still streamed down my face but I ignored them.  
  
I heisitated. Everything in me screamed no.  
  
I was too late. He'd tricked me, I realised as my body sunk to the ground helplessly.  
  
*bring him home again.*  
  
  
Alright I don't think that worked but oh well... 


	6. Misinformed

Chapter 5  
Misinformed  
  
"Logan Cale you better have a damn good reason for lying to me!" Alec demanded storming into his penthouse with a body thrown over his shoulder.   
  
I wondered what he was talking about as I pushed away from my computer and found him slinging the body on my bed. I didn't want to play doctor or hospital today.  
  
"Alec what are you doing putting her-" I blinked, it couldn't be. Opening my eyes wider I walked over to the body on my bed.   
  
I couldn't stop my hand from tracing a finger down her cheek.  
  
"Max." I also couldn't help her whispered name from escapeing my lips. Or my awe at her beauty.  
  
I felt Alec yank me by my arm from the room and slam me into a wall. He was obvioulsy upset about something but I couldn't figure it out, my mind refused to function on any other level then the one that was currently still in the room with Max.  
  
"Why did you lie to me?" Alec demanded. Lie to him, when had I... My eyes drifted back to her sleeping form, I'd missed it so much.  
  
"You told me she was dead." he stated pulling me further down the hall and slamming once more into the wall. Oh that. Unfortunately my mind was beginning to function again.  
  
"She could of died today Cale and it would have been your fault." I shot him a confused look. "They attacked us today. How sick is that? The government using their brainwashed transgenics to take out the rest of us." he seemed passionate about it. If I was surprised before, he just kept surpriseing me.  
  
"I've gotta go help clean up the mess." Alec muttered and turned to leave him. "She doesn't remember. And she'll probably give you one heck of a ass kicking when she wakes up. Frankly I don't care. Just don't let her leave."  
  
Like the thought of letting her out of my sight again even crossed my mind.  
  
"How do you expect me to do that? You're the one with superpowers." Even if I hadn't wanted her to leave, when it came down to it she'd have me on the ground before I could blink.  
  
"She doesn't know she can kick the crap out of you. Unfortunate but true. None of them did." I watched him leave wondering what he had meant.  
  
  
  
AN: Hey guess what I've already got the next two chapters written. But I really don't want to proof read them...I've become increadably lax with that lately. So unless I get mucho reviews I will make everyone wait until I feel like proofreading them...I don't feel like proofreading often. So lie to me. Review under different names if you must...I'll never know. If you are reading this and have been reading this and haven't reviewed yet shame on you. Do so now. As I said, I will not be posting more until I get at least ten reviews. I know I know this story sucks. But come on doesn't all my stuff. I've had pieces of crap get more reviews then this and this is just pathetic. So if your reading this and you think is sux tell me. I love laughing at my idiocy with people it's fun. come on help me out here. I spend lots of time writing it, you can take a few minutes to review it.   
  
I'm not lying about holding Chapters hostage... 


	7. Awakening

AN: Well thank you. It's nice to know that people do actually read these things. I'd still write them even if they didn't but well you know. It's nice to know that people are actually out there enjoying them as much as I enjoy writing them...  
I feel like an awfully mean person now. I promise not to be so mean.  
Ignore my self-esteem issues they come from years of compeating with my older brother and I've given up hope on overcomeing those little issues. AND FOR ALL THOSE WHO HAVE REVIEWED MULTIPLE TIMES: I love you guys. Hey I wouldn't review multiple times so I'm giving you a ton of credit for your obvious interest in this little piece. It makes me so happy. I glow. I smile. I dance.   
I promise not to hold chapters hostage anymore. I'm not really that mean and I'm about a patient as a cheetah on speed. (don't know about that analogy)That is why my stories are usually finished as quickly as possible, I don't like to wait either. When I get an idea I run with it. Truthfully, one review would have gotten the desired next chapters.  
Once again I'm sorry. sorry sorry sorry.  
  
Chapter 6  
Awakening  
  
At one time I wouldn't have heisitated to crawl up onto the bed with her and wait. But I didn't think she'd be very pleased, waking up in a strange place next to a strange man. Part of me hoped she'd remember me, but I wasn't wearing rose colored glasses any longer.  
  
Perching on the edge of the bed, I watched her sleep. Let myself get lost in her. But I did not touch. Any touch would be wasted on her. Lost. It would only wake her up and lead to questions. Questions I did not want to answer. Questions I didn't know if I could answer.  
  
Oh God what I'd give to just lay by her side and hold her.  
  
She slept on her side, her back to me. Mouth open just so slightly, hand draped on the pillow next to her full lips.   
  
On my pillow.   
  
Great she'd been through hell and this was turning me on. Yeah great guy I am, I moaned and looked away.  
  
"Who are you?" her voice broke me out of my thoughts and I turned to face her.  
  
I had expected anger, I had expected hate, or hurt. I had not expected fear.   
  
But I quickly gathered she was more then a little frightened. She was in full blown terror.   
  
I reached out to place a hand on her shoulder in a comforting gesture and she nearly flew out the window. Backing away from me inhumanely fast and jumping off the bed.  
  
"Max, it's ok. I'm not going to hurt you." I offered holding out my hands so she could see them.   
  
She looked at me not believeing what I was saying then suddenly circled behind me and pointed something into my back.   
  
I wasn't stupid, I knew it was a gun. Just how she'd gotten it past Alec was a little disconcerting but I decided that if I lived through this I'd forgive him.  
  
"Am I a transgenic?" she demanded. Of all the questions I'd expected that one never crossed my mind. I wondered if I should answer her, if it would do more damage then good. She pressed the barrel further into my back and decided for me.  
  
I nodded.  
  
"My barcode? The Transgenics, they all had barcodes." the way in which she spit the word transgenics made me wonder just what they had been feeding her.   
  
Suddenly the gun was gone and she was tugging at my jacket. I quickly tugged it off and her fingers ran accross the back of my neck, frying every nerve ending they came in contact with.  
  
Meanwhile my mind was busy berating my body for reacting so strongly to her touch and at the same time pleading with her to never stop.  
  
Her fingers left my neck as she walked over and sat on the bed facing me and staring at me. I locked eyes with her and she looked away.  
  
"Who are you?" she asked again.  
  
"Logan." I obliged  
  
"Where am I?" Her questions were turning me on.  
  
"In my bedroom." I stated playing with her. Her eyebrow shot up in amusement.  
  
"I'll just be leaving and you can use the bed all you want." she teased starting to rise. My hand flew out and grabbed her wrist.  
  
"I'd rather you didn't." I stated.  
  
"I don't got a choice do I?' she asked. I shook my head no as she slipped back down.  
  
"I knew you didn't I." she asked.  
  
"Yes." I choked out past a lump the size of Niagra growing in my throat.  
  
"We never..." she drifted off and cocked her head toward the bed.  
  
"No." I smiled as she sighed, enormously relieved. I decided our feelings and what we might have done in the past where not really a good issue to talk about, seeing as how I was about ready to jump out of my skin, with her sitting on my bed looking sexy beyond all belief.   
  
She had a small cut on her cheek and I wanted more then anything to play doctor to it and then kiss it better.  
  
"Are you okay?" she asked breaking through my primal and embarassingly hormonal daydreams.   
  
I decided it was late and it would be a good thing to get her out of my bed so that I could think clearly.  
  
"Yeah fine. Listen I'll answer any questions you have later but right now I think we should both call it a night." I offered.   
  
She stared back with a look of distrust that broke my heart. Then finally conceded to being led to the guestroom where I left her.  
  
  
So once more sorry. sorry. sorry. I learned my lesson. No holding Chapters hostage. Again there are probably numorus grammatical errors and misspelled words...try to ignore them or inform me of them so I can fix them. 


	8. Medicine

Chapter 7  
Medicine  
AN: * indicate flashbacks  
  
It was dark. I wasn't tired. And my mind was racing with questions.  
  
They'd lied to me. Somehow I knew it all along.  
  
But a transgenic. I was evil. I was a killer.  
  
And I thought that I was helping.   
  
No, it was my fault in the first place.  
  
It shakes me deeply, I'm willing to admit that to myself. But it doesn't produce tears. Just an odd clinical detachment of sorts. I'm trying to decide if I like that.  
  
I know I like Logan.  
  
There is something so trusting about him. So comforting about him, but still I know not to let my feelings rule me. Look where it got me before, killing my own kind when I should be taking a long look in the mirror.  
  
Sure it was nice not remembering all the horrible things I'd done. All the people I'd killed. But knowing just the same that I was one of them, well it kind of cancelled out that fact.  
  
I didn't want to be alone in his dark guest room tonight.  
  
Oddly enough I just wanted to run to him and have him craddle me in his arms. I was certain he would.   
  
He'd said we were never like that, but I don't know if I believe him. There was something about the way he looked at me that made me flushed with desire. If we were never like that then why did I want him so badly before?  
  
I could hear him breathing in the other room and it sent me into a tailspin. I had the distinct feeling that I'd been lying awake in this bed before just listening to him sleep.  
  
The urge to touch him was pulling at me and had been pulling at me since my fingers had left his neck earlier.  
  
I couldn't fight it anymore.  
  
I decided to go into his room, sneak a peek and get out before he woke up. It should satisfy my need to see him again, if not my need to touch him.  
  
Upon arriving in his room however, I cracked. I crept up to his bed and reached out to touch his arm.  
  
My hand never made it. I started convulsing. This was not the time. This was not the time. My mind screamed for me to get out of his room before he woke up, but my body refused to obey.  
  
Logan's eyes shot open as if instinctivley knowing of my silent struggle. His arms reached out and pulled me down on to the bed next to him. Craddleing my head he whispered words of comfort.  
  
*What can I do?*   
  
I tried to speak out, to tell him it was ok, this would pass it was normal. Though it hurt like hell.  
  
His hand swept down my cheek and he pulled me closer to him briefly before grabbing my hand and giving it a quick squeeze.  
  
*Stay with me, please*  
  
Suddenly he reached over me and opened the drawer to the table by his bed. Pulling out a bottle he removed some pills.  
  
What was he doing? I wanted to ask him but as I opened my mouth to try, he shoved them into my mouth.  
  
I promptly spit them out. Trust him or not, there was no way I was going to let him pour poison down my throat.  
  
"Max it's ok. It's your Tryptophan. It will stop the seizures." he assured brushing a strand of hair from my eyes.  
  
He was so gentle and his eyes were so deep. Posion or not how could I resist that man?  
  
*I'm right here.*   
  
Opening my mouth again I obliged and he smiled as he helped me sit up so I could chase the pills down with some water.  
  
*You won't leave?*   
  
That finished he pulled me to his chest and held me until I stopped shaking.  
  
*I'm not going anywhere*  
  
"Sorry." I muttered pulling away. I should have gotten up and left him alone. But the look in his eye prevented it.  
  
"Don't be." he offered gently giving me my space. I was becoming more and more certain that he and I had something in the past. Why else would he keep a bottle of this miracle drug next to his bed?  
  
"There is some in every room Max. You seized once, pretty bad, here. Scared both of us. I decided it would be a good idea to keep some close." he offered answering my unasked question. Now the man could read my mind. Well that was good. At least I wouldn't have to ask him about it.  
  
Suddenly I wanted very much to just bury my face in his chest, throw my arms around him, and hold him for the rest of my life.  
  
I settled for sitting next to him.  
  
"I remembered something." I offered out of the darkness. He turned to look at me but I kept my eyes stareing straight ahead as I continued.  
  
"I had an episode on your couch. I asked you to stay. I..." I broke off. It wasn't really that important anyway.  
  
I caught a smile out of the corner of my eye. Bearing my soul seemed worth it for that small smile.  
  
After an enormously empty space of time. I moved to leave. His hand came down and trapped mine.   
  
"You could have another episode." he explained quickly pulling his hand away. I smiled at his attempt at a coverup.  
  
"If you tell me where more of that miracle drug is I should be fine." I answered stareing at his downcast eyes. I wanted to make him squirm a little. It seemed like a fun idea.  
  
When his eyes met mine again however, there was no room for fun. His gaze was so intensly sad, so vitally worried, and so passionately filled with love. I felt my heart sink to my feet before it started to pick up again.  
  
He didn't want me to leave him.  
  
I didn't want to leave him.  
  
He closed his eyes and drifted closer to me. Something in my mind screamed out, he's going to kiss me! I should of been building up barriers; I didn't know this man. I should have been pulling away; what if he hurts me. But all I could do was close my eyes and drift closer to him.  
  
How could he have so much control over me?  
  
His lips brushed mine gently and I rocked back. Shit it felt like I was sizzling or something, every part of me was alive. I liked it.  
  
"I thought you said we weren't like that." I defended embarassed I'd kissed him, embarassed I had such a strong reaction to said kiss, which wasn't really a kiss at all, as far as kisses went that was merely touching lips.  
  
"We weren't." he said flatly. He tried to hide it but I saw a flare of anger, frustration, and even a dash of pain, light up his eyes.   
  
I wanted to make it better. Spend the rest of the night making it better.  
  
What was with me anyway?  
  
"Oh?" I questioned slyly. His eyes met mine again and his lips curved into a smile matching the one pasted on my face. He wasn't dense, I could give you that. We both leaned in again. The first one wasn't so bad, maybe we could try for more this time.  
  
As the distance between us started to lessen I felt the telltale shakes start to reapear. Shit, not now. I wanted to kiss him, really kiss him. It might make me remember I rationalized.  
  
His hand brushed my cheek leaving a trail of fire behind it. He chuckled as I closed my eyes and let myself enjoy it.  
  
Apparently he found teasing me fun because he denied me the pleasure of getting lost in his lips. Instead he pulled me to his chest and brushed the hair off of my neck exposing my barcode. This I did not like.  
  
It reminded me of the monster that I was; I felt my shakes start to increase.  
  
Logan however didn't notice, I tensed in his arms as he rubbed his fingers over the barcode on my neck.  
  
Sensing my discomfort he moved his hands to my shoulders and started to rub them instead.   
  
I think I started to purr under his touch and before I knew it he had returned to my barcode.  
  
"Look Lo--" I started to protest but his lips on my barcode startled me.  
  
His actions claimed acceptance of who I was, of what I was. Didn't he know I was a killer? Hadn't he heard of all the awful things people like me did?  
  
His tongue darted across the back of my neck, who was I trying to kid, right now he knew me better then I knew myself. And he definately knew exactly where and how to touch me. His hand played at the naked expanse of skin on my back, between my shirt and pants.  
  
I started to turn to him, if he thought he was going to tease me all night he had another thing comeing. I'm not a very patient person I've been told.  
  
Fate had other plans for us however.  
  
Once more I began to seize. Shit this wasn't fair.  
  
  
Ah the dreaded cliffhanger. I love cliff hangers. Come on admit it you want to know what is going on inside of Logan's head anyway. Smile its ok. I won't be mean. I promise. 


	9. Fear

I just can't leave you all hanging for so long. Daily updates, are you feeling lucky. To clear up some things...Chapter 4 was a dream sharing chapter...(see Blah Blah Woof Woof ) And Patience will get you White and the virus resolution...Unless I just decide to say...Alternative Universe...I don't have to be tied to the virus and White...although...I probably will anyway.  
  
Chapter 8  
Fear  
  
  
I had to stop this. She didn't know what she was doing; she didn't realise where this was going. And I was not going to be the one to hurt her.  
  
She needed to trust me, and finishing what we'd started was not a good way to keep the small amount of trust she'd given me.  
  
But as my tongue darted across the back of her neck, an action I'd only been allowed in dreams, logic was becoming harder and harder to listen to.   
  
I was almost relieved when she started to seize again.  
  
Cowardly, yes. But I was feeling increadably human at the moment, and I knew I had next to no control when she sat so close.  
  
"Max." I called to her calmly lowering her to the bed again. "Max."   
  
She was seizing worse then I'd ever seen her before and she didn't make eye contact or signal in anyway that she was still with me.  
  
Shit.  
  
Fear engulfed me, paralyzing me to the spot. I couldn't lose her again.   
  
Placing my hand to her forehead I noticed it was flaming.   
  
"Don't hate me for this Max." I spit out as I started to strip her of all extra clothing, leaving her in a tank top and not much else.   
  
If she wasn't burning up and seizing, I am sure it would have been an increadably pleasureable experience.  
  
I didn't want to leave her, but sitting by her side after I'd forced some more Tryptophan down her throat, wasn't doing anything to lessen her fever or stop her seizures.   
  
I wasn't prepared for this. I needed someone who could help me.   
  
I reached for the phone by my bed and called the only person I could think of.  
  
"Bling, I need you here now." I shot out not able to hide the panic in my voice.   
  
"Calm down Logan, what is it?" he asked evenly. How the hell could he stay so calm this was Max, she needed help?   
  
"It's Max. She's seizing and she won't stop, she's burning up. She needs help. I don't know what to do." I think I continued with a long list of emotional breakdown based comments before he cut me off.  
  
"Logan, breathe. You need to concentrate." he calmly stated. I'd feel a lot better if he's just shut up and get over here.  
  
"I'm calm damn it!" Ok maybe it didn't sound as reassuring as I'd planned it. But Max's continued seizing in the background wasn't helping me much.  
  
"You need to bring her temperature down. I'm on my way." I think he realised that I'd kill him if he didn't get over here quickly.   
  
Slamming the phone down, I transfered to my chair then picked Max up and slid her unto my lap, cursing my useless legs the whole way to the bathroom.  
  
Skidding to a stop in front of the shower, I wondered briefly just how I was going to get her in it.  
  
Screw it.  
  
I wheeled both of us into the shower and winced as the cold spray hit us.  
  
Pulling her closer I buried my head in her neck and fought the emotions that tore at my soul.  
  
"Shit Logan, I said you need to cool her down. Not give both of you hypothermia." Bling's voice broke through my worried haze as he turned off the now icy water.   
  
I noticed I was shivering and that Max's skin was starting to gain a bluish tint.  
  
Shaking, I pushed us out of the shower and followed Bling into my room.  
  
"Get out of those clothes." he ordered as I placed Max on the bed. I contimplated refusing his offer, to stay by Max's side instead, but Bling didn't give me any room for arguement, and reluctantly I let go of her cold hand to follow his orders.  
  
When I'd complied he sent me for clothes for Max. Grabbing a T-shirt and some boxers I wheeled over to join him only to be kicked out of the room with a lame excuse of getting something warm into my system.  
  
Irrate, I reluctantly left. Not because he'd asked me to but because I was still shaking and I wanted something to warm me up.  
  
I could think of a few things I'd rather use then the coffee I settled for, but one of those things was currently unconscious in my bed for the second time in less then five hours.  
  
Grabbing my coffee I sat outside my bedroom door until Bling finally opened the door and let me in.  
  
"Nearest I can figure is they had her on some sort of drug. She's coming off of it and combined with all the stress her body is not too happy about it. Once the drug leaves her system though she should be fine." Bling offered.  
  
"Her fever?" I questioned. Bling smiled.  
  
"Gone." he assured. "Why don't you go in there yourself? I'm sure she'd rather wake up to your face then mine."  
  
He was right. I should go in there. But I was more then slightly scared at what I'd find.  
  
Bling sensed my heisitancy, prodded me on with a good kick to my chair and a rough, get in there.  
  
Wheeling to the bed I contimplated turning back.  
  
This shouldn't be so hard, but it was.  
  
When I reached her side, she was sleeping peacefully for once.  
  
My eyes weighed heavy and I wanted nothing more then to join her on the bed.  
  
In an uncharactaristic flash of courage, I decided to screw the consequences and crawled up on the bed next to her.  
  
Heisitantly I brushed a few strands of hair out of her face as my eyes fell closed. I tried vainly to keep them open but they just kept slipping shut.  
  
I wanted to just stare and marvel at her but I quickly found myself lost to sleep instead.  
  
  
  
Thanks the lovely people who have been giving me reviews. 


	10. Misunderstandings

Chapter 9  
Misunderstandings  
  
I was aware of a few things. The sun streaming through the window onto my face. My splitting headache. The fact that I was starving. But still I didn't open my eyes.  
  
Rolling over my hand brushed against something and a familiar smell hit my nose.   
  
I slid closer so that I was resting against his chest, picking up his arm and putting it around my waist I smiled as I breathed him in.  
  
If anything Logan made a great blanket.  
  
I nuzzled further into his neck, cuddling closer. He made a great pillow too.  
  
I wondered briefly how I came to be in his bed. In his arms. But only briefly. How ever it had come about, I was glad that it had. O.C. would be happy, I thought with a smile.   
  
My stomach growled and I dared to open my eyes and look up at him.  
  
He was sleeping.  
  
I'd wondered from the moment I first crashed into his life, what it would be like to wake up in his arms. To be able to watch him sleep from those same arms.  
  
An overwhelming feeling of warmth, security, and dare I say love, washed over me.  
  
Suddenly I wanted him to wake up and kiss me. To end all the little doubts and worries that had played such an enormous part in keeping us apart. I wanted him to keep me in his bed all day. Locked safely in his arms, while we finally made Original Cindy's predictions come true.  
  
Looking up at him I blew on his chin. He shifted in his sleep pulling me tighter but not waking up.  
  
Smiling, I traced a finger down his jaw and whispered his name.  
  
"Logan?" I purred.  
  
"Max." he answered not opening his eyes. Surprisingly he loosened his grip on me and pulled back.  
  
"I'm going to go fix breakfast." he stated leaving me confused and alone in his now enormous bed.   
  
Maybe I hadn't expected him to whisper words of love but I certainly wasn't expecting him to run from the room either.  
  
I decided to take a quick shower before confronting him and pretending like nothing happened. I'm so sick of nothing happening.  
  
  
  
  
  
Shit. Damn. Fudge. Freaking stupid...  
  
Maybe swearing wouldn't help release this constant tension but it helped with the intense frustration I was feeling.   
  
She had no idea how hard it had been for me to leave her.   
  
If I knew she remembered. If it really had been Max in my arms...  
  
Who was I kidding? I'd probably still run.  
  
Cook Cale, just cook. Forget her. She'll come around. Just forget about it.  
  
  
  
  
  
Maybe I'd come on a little strong. After all I didn't remember why I was in his bed.   
  
Maybe it was for some stupid reason, and now he was totally creeped out by my actions.  
  
If I woke up and found him in my bed, I'd run too.   
  
Stupid, freaking stupid. Damn I was an idiot.  
  
He was probably just being the nice guy that he is and I take advantage of that.   
  
Slamming my fist into the wall, I let the water run over me in attempt to calm my nerves.  
  
I don't think it worked.  
  
  
  
  
  
"What's for breakfast?" Alec's voice called out and I turned around and shot him a death glare.   
  
"Where did you go last night?" I accused. I could have used his help when Max had started to seize.   
  
"Look Cale. Max wasn't the only one they'd brainwashed you know. I had things to do. I assumed you'd appreciate me bringing her to you first." Alec answered.  
  
"Sorry. She had an episode last night..." I drug out not knowing why.  
  
"So did about half of the others. I think its the drugs they had them on." Alec offered. "Does she remember?" Alec asked.  
  
I shook my head no. And Alec looked at me in surprise.  
  
"Really? Most of the others are starting to. I guess I just figured she'd have started remembering something by now."   
  
The shower stopped and I really didn't want to find out what would happen if Max saw Alec.  
  
"Look, she'll be out here soon. I don't think it's a good idea for you two..." I drifted off.  
  
"I'll be back later." Alec offered and left before Max could emerge.  
  
  
  
  
  
"Logan?" I questioned slipping into the kitchen behind him making him jump when I spoke.  
  
"You remember anything?" he reluctantly asked after a significant pause.  
  
"Not really. What happened?" I asked following him to the table. He gestured for me to sit and I gladly did.   
  
"You had an episode. " he stated slipping into the seat next to me. There was something he wasn't telling me. He was acting strange; he had been all morning. Treating me like I was going to break or like I already had.  
  
Like he didn't know who I was.  
  
"Logan is everything okay?" I ventured wanting only to crawl into his lap and make whatever was bothering him go away. But that would never happen. We were too bent on protecting our employer/employee relationship. I couldn't distance my meal ticket.  
  
"Bling said everything was going to be fine. You scared me last night. That's all." It must have been worse then I thought. For him to call Bling, for him to admit that he was scared.   
  
"Hey, I'm superwoman remember. Its okay." I offered trying to comfort his lingering fears with bravado.  
  
"I wish you did." Logan muttered under his breath as he nodded and stood. Since I was trying hard not to be intrusive, I decided to keep the fact that I'd heard him to puzzle out myself.  
  
His sadness seemed to curb my hunger and I noticed that for the first time since I'd met him I wasn't able to clear my plate.  
  
  
Oh yes, I know it was cruel of me. Next chapter will be better. 


	11. Truthfully

Chapter 10  
Truthfully  
  
"What do you remember?" I asked plopping down on the couch next to her. I decided it would be best for me to use the exo today in case we had a repeat of last night. Breakfast had been eaten in silence, Max hadn't cleared her plate, yet another sign that she wasn't really my Max. The dishes had been washed and we'd managed to avoid the topic for a good hour. I guess some things never change.  
  
"Sneaking into your room." she answered briefly. I caught her eyes starting to glisten so I took her hand in mine and held it.   
  
"We talked for a little bit and then you seized, I called Bling and he came over to look at you." I sighed. I was hoping she'd remember something from the past. But no such luck.  
  
She nodded and we sat in silence.  
  
"Logan, what is really wrong? You can pretend it's nothing but I can tell something is bugging you." she started out finally looking at me.  
  
I looked away. For all intents and purposes she seemed to know me and all my little moods. I hadn't thought I was so transparent.   
  
"It's nothing." I offered but she wouldn't take it. "It's just, well I wish things were different."   
  
She offered me a funny look then headed over to my window taking up her usual spot.  
  
It made me wonder how many of her actions were subconcious and how many of them were planned.  
  
"For the life of me Logan Cale I can not figure you out." she stated, her back to me. I forced a half laugh and continued to stare at her back.  
  
"There's something I don't get. Last thing I remember before waking up-" Her comment was interupted by my phone.  
  
"What?" I demanded.   
  
"Is it safe for me to come over?" Alec's annoying voice filtered through my phone and I wanted to slam it down and disconnect on him.  
  
"I don't think so." I shot back selfishly.  
  
"She still doesn't remember?" he questioned in disbelief.  
  
"No." I answered with venom. Rub it in why don't you. It wasn't like the fact that she didn't remember me, the man she'd claimed to love once upon a time, wasn't already killing me.  
  
"It's just that everyone else here...well they are starting to remember." he stated simply. I wanted to shove the words back down his throat. It wasn't a good sign. Maybe she'd never remember.  
  
"Good for them."  
  
"Listen I'm sorry."  
  
"Forget it Alec." I slammed the phone down catching a small smile light up her face. "What?" I questioned hopeful.  
  
"What did he want?" she asked.  
  
Oh. For a moment I'd thought that she'd remembered something. Couldn't get my hopes up.  
  
"Nothing. Now what were you saying?" I questioned.  
  
"It isn't important." she lied.  
  
"Max. Look. I know this is hard for you. I know you probably don't feel like you can trust me but you can." I offered hoping to get something out of her. She turned to face me with a hurt look.  
  
"Gee how sweet of you. I can't believe you just said that to me. I can't believe that after..." Max broke off and stormed from the room slamming the guestroom door behind her.  
  
I had no idea what I'd done.  
  
  
  
Shit he was an ass.  
  
You'd think that after everything we'd been through, he'd know that I trusted him. You don't tell someone you love them if you don't trust them.   
  
What the hell was wrong with him?  
  
One minute he's confessing love and then I seize or so he says and the whole incident is forgotton.   
  
I've heard of running from your problems, hell I've run from my problems. But his flat out lies bugged the hell out of me.  
  
I heard him walk by my door and pause. If he thought he could just make nice now he had another thing coming.  
  
He must of sensed my hostile mood and decided that self-preservation was a good idea because he left my door and headed toward his room.  
  
Shit. Shit. Shit.  
  
I wanted to kick the crap out of him but at the same time I wanted to hold him while he told me what was bothering him.  
  
Love wasn't fair.  
  
It didn't play by the rules.  
  
Ass or not, I still needed to know the answers the the questions I was going to ask him.  
  
I still needed to know why I remembered shooting at Alec and finding Jace and Krit unconscious on the ground of some warehouse.  
  
I still needed to know why I remembered being dragged out of his penthouse by my hair.  
  
And why I was in his bed if all those things had happened.  
  
Deciding that maybe I'd overeacted and that maybe he had a good explaination, I tiptoed to his door to find him on his bed with his back to me.  
  
He was asleep.  
  
Taking a closer look I noticed what seemed to be tears on his cheek.  
  
Leaning over him I brushed one away gently, then slipped into the bed next to him.  
  
I'd never seen Logan cry. I just assumed that like me, tears didn't come easily.   
  
I guess I liked to think that he was invincible, that I couldn't hurt him like that.  
  
But I was wrong.  
  
Impulsively I kissed a tear from his cheek, waking him up.  
  
"Max?" he questioned disoriented as he started to pull back.  
  
Flinging my arms around him, I pulled him closer.  
  
"Why did you say that?" I asked.  
  
"Max you don't remember, but we were close. I don't know if I should be telling you this but I will anyway. I lost you once to Manticore, I lost you once to the virus, I lost you once to White, and I lost you again to the government of all people. I can't lose you again. You came back to me from Manticore, we cured the virus, you kicked White's ass, but I'm afraid I'm never going to get you back from the job they did on you when you spent time with Uncle Sam." he broke out pushing away from me.  
  
What the hell was he talking about?  
  
"Logan, you lost me." I cringed, realizing that those were not the best words to use. "I mean, I remember Manticore, the virus and White, I even remember being dragged out of your apartment. That is what doesn't make sense. How could I have been dragged out of your apartment yesterday and still be here now seizeing with you last night?" I corrected at his wince.  
  
Logan turned back to me and crushed me into his arms. Shocked, but pleased I returned the gesture.  
  
"I'd love to continue this and I promise we will but I need some answers." I lauged trying to remain serious.  
  
"Max I love you." he said planting a kiss on my cheek. I couldn't help but forget my attempts at seriousness as a smile spread accross my lips.  
  
"That I remember. Now seriously, I need some answers."  
  
  
I think I might go back over that, it just seems like something is missing... 


	12. After

After  
AN: ok, I'm awful for not updateing earlier. I'm a bad person. This has been sitting here waiting for me for months now. It's just I felt you deserved more then this but since my muse doesn't agree with me this is it. I'm truely sorry. I'm wrapping it up here having accomplished the main goal of bringing those two together in an increadably unbelivable show of sap. No one acted in character, no one made sense. But its all good.  
If you'd like a continuation that shows more government dodging and such...let me make a suggestion...I'd be willing to co-author. Mainly because I'm lazy and action just doesn't seem to float my boat lately. So this is me leaving half the story hanging...Seriously though if your interested in co-authoring or if you like the idea and want to take the whole project on yourself...be my guest.   
  
  
  
  
Logan pulled her closer burying her face in his chest as the first rays of dawn broke through the clouds.  
  
"You awake?" Max questioned squirming in his arms to face him. If he wasn't he would be.  
  
"Up already?" he questioned with a smirk.   
  
"Get used to it." she offered playfully shoving him. Logan smiled and burried his head in her hair breathing her in. "This is perfect you know." she offered quietly cuddling with him.  
  
"Yeah, makes you wonder though."  
  
"Bout what?"  
  
"When is all hell going to break lose again?" he joked.  
  
"Well aren't we Mr. Optimism?" once more shoving him.  
  
Suddenly their was a noise from the other room as Logan's door burst open.  
  
"What the hell?" Max demanded bolting up in bed as Alec came running into the room.  
  
"I need your help. We found Joshua." He panted.  
  
"This is your fault you know." Max turned to Logan as he too sat up and put on his glasses.  
  
"I know. I know. I'm just going to keep my mouth shut from now on." he commented transfering to the chair.  
  
"What are you two talking about?" Alec asked disturbed at the pace in which they were moving.  
  
The couple smiled as they brushed past him.  
  
"Good idea Logan. Now where is Joshua?"  
  
  
  
Had to wrap it up. But then again I really didn't wrap it up did I. Sorry. 


End file.
